knitxcore.: Dear Santa: Keep It Simple.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Dear Santa: Keep It Simple.

dear santa, keep it simple.
Honestly bro, I've gotten some pretty strange clothes from you in the past.

In fourth grade, I got a printed silk shirt and a matching pair of suspenders. I thought it was legit. I thought you had my best interests in mind when choosing the perfect ensemble for me to debut in Miss Lafontaine's class after Christmas break. It looked totally expensive and my faith in you wouldn't steer me wrong, right? WRONG. I ate lunch in the bathroom for two weeks. Did you know who Urkel was? Just because he was on TV didn't mean he was cool.

A few years later, you did it again.

I opened my gifts and found a buffalo plaid pair of Zubaz pants with a matching V-neck top made out of a very stiff broadcloth. They may have been trendy in previous years, but by the time I opened up these extremely hideous genie pants, the fad had passed. I wore them anyway. My unwavering support, and your unabashedly exquisite taste level got me into a fight on the playground with a boy that looked like a pug. So, thanks for that.

This year, if you decide to buy me any clothes, my only request is that you keep it simple. Classics, y'know? I understand that you probably don't have a Polyvore account or that you sit around around in your palatial cabin waiting for Opening Ceremony to announce their latest collab. You're a busy dude. I get it.

Because you're so busy, I've decided to keep things incredibly simple for you.

This is what I want. Get it at American Apparel:

Winter Jacket
Rib Henley One-Piece
Fine Jersey Long Sleeve Leisure Shirt 

sorry/not sorry
thanks in advance :-)

4 comments:

Eartha Kitsch said...

Oh, you've just GOTTA get those long-johns! Wow, Santa has really screwed you over in the past. I hope that he makes it up to you this year. : )

Lisa said...

I love that green shirt! I hope Santa comes through for you this year ^_^

Rae - Say It Aint So said...

once santa brought me a pink dress, and all my cousins and brother got rollerblades. get it together santa!
i love those long johns! i wonder if they have them in the store, i should get travis some for christmas!

Sian said...

hello! i love all these outfits! i hope santa does you proud.